Reap What I Sow

Does anyone else feel stuck like this...? Sometimes, I feel powerless. Or is that sense of powerlessness just an easy out?

Bear with me here as I circuitously talk around this topic: I crave to place more effort into being environmentally conscious. It’s a value of mine, so it cannot be just conceptual.

Amid a busy and sometimes stressful life, I fight to not give in to doing what is easier ... My habits wax and wane. My goal is to refrain from these behaviors: excessive deliveries, cheaper products, frequent car trips, and quick purchases of packaged goods like toilet paper.

It isn’t easy. When life becomes hard, or when money is tight, the temptations are hard to resist. At those times, I feel I do what I do just to get by in life. Here’s the deal. A rushed and busy life brings not only its challenges but also its consequences.

It also brings excuses. All the “no time for this” and the “no time for that” — the mindset to not try. 

My biggest challenge is air conditioning. The rising temperatures and humidity can be really hard for someone like me with dysautonomia. Currently, I can barely be outside without nearly passing out. That’s not an exaggeration, honestly. Yet, the more I need cool temperatures to stay healthy, the more I use AC or electric fans.

My animals also overheat in a no-AC house. I see my dog begging for more and more of the outdoors, but in this heat, he struggles to play, walk, run, and even train where we take him. Even with water in hand, grassy areas, and some shade from large trees, he tires quickly. A Border Collie must have exercise, so we feel stuck.

My health and the pets’ well-being mean the air conditioning stays on and I hate it. I find this cyclic conundrum frustrating. And, well, ... sad. I need a more cooperative environment while I contribute to the problem. I’m stuck in my own muck. So, where do I go from here?

Logically, I know our environment is an interconnected and fragile system. I must respect it for it to respect me. My actions are far-reaching in this universe (multiverses?).

I think most of us agree our actions are our responsibility. Without conscientiousness, we are only self-serving. Though I have opinions, my questioning here is neither a political nor a theological stance. Really. It just comes to this: 

Without caring about my environment, I do not respect this sacred earth I am given. I do not respect the needs and future of the next generation. I do not even respect my own needs and the needs of the humans and non-humans I love.

So, how do I stop the cycle? Seriously. I seek suggestions. 

This is what I’ve got so far... 

Try. And try again, when it falls by the wayside. 

Otherwise, I reap the misfortune I sow.